Why did L’wren Scott take her life?

I heard the news of L’Wren Scott’s suicide via twitter from @socialdiva feed and all I could think about was “
WHY? HER LIFE SEEMED SO PERFECT.”

And it haunted me.

The first article I read in AM New York had very little details except for the fabulous clients that she dressed and that her boyfriend was Mick Jagger. To prove how sick the media is, many news outlets, including the New York Times used headings Mick Jagger’s girlfriend…as if that defined her.

I wracked my brain and immediately flashed back to Isabella Blow’s death; yet another fantastically talented person in the fashion industry who was working in the shadows of others. But in Scott’s case…from the outside world she had ‘made it.’

Celebrity clients like Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Amy Adams, Sandra Bullock, Michelle Obama, and Madonna also counted her as a friend.

Her clothing line was elegant and adored by fashion insiders. She was respectable+beautiful.
And while she hadn’t yet become a household name, she had recently partnered with Banana Republic, so that would soon change.

And then, I wondered if her life was all that gold and glittery as her instagram feed.

Did it fulfill her from the inside, out?

The maid said she had wanted to get married and have a family.

Does it get any better than that in the world of ‘compare my fabulous life to yours?’

A lifestyle and beliefs I had personally left behind.

And clearly remaking herself by changing her name from Luann Bambrough may have factored into it.

Did she lose herself along the way? Did she feel like a fraud because her company was 6 million dollars in the red and she was living in a 5 million dollar apartment that she didn’t own, romantically tied to a partner she wasn’t married to? How many other New Yorkers are ‘faking it till they make it?’

Does it ever stop feeling fake?

Since there was no note, there is no way to really know what was inside her gorgeous head but I imagine it stemmed from a feeling of ‘less than.’ When you try to keep up with the 1% of nyc+celebrity, I think impossible to not feel like you’re constantly coming up short.

Perfection is a fraud.

That’s why I have based my life and work on what makes me feel good and of service to others. I focus on ‘real women’ with ‘real lives’ and ‘real bodies.’ It’s about progress, not perfection.

In the past, I’ve had TV producer(s) approach me who have wanted to make a ‘reality’ TV show about me and my uber-wealthy clients; flying around in private jets, having a blast, and drinking champagne. Sadly, I had to tell them the truth; that’s not my life.

And years ago, I worked with a roster of celebrities but found the work soul wrenching; leaving me feeling cold and un-appreciated so I made the conscious decision to move away from that kind of work. But usually the first question journalists ask me is, “ooooh! what celebrities have you worked with?” I now explain, that really isn’t part of my brand or message anymore. Sometimes they actually omit my comments in their article and honestly, that is just fine with me. I don’t subscribe to the notion that celebrities are ‘special people’ who don’t sweat, piss or poop like the rest of us. They are human, and to treat them otherwise is to put them on a pedestal.

Luann Bambrough’s death proves the pedestal doesn’t lead to happiness.