Sundays in the Hamptons

Sunday afternoon we’re at The Chateau (shabby chic delapitated shack with direct bay beach access) in Hampton Bays hosted by a charming group of europeans. One red hot architect serves up a true argentinean bbq. First hamburguesas, skirt steak, and then sirloin. After sating ourselves I wryly added, ” I think I need some more meat,” the host offered me a grand tour of the house 😉
As we’re parting for Sunset Beach on shelter island our hosts announce, “we have the sunset here”. “You don’t understand…..IT’s not about the sunset!”
On the ferry I am descended upon by a potential suitor who failed to return my phone call letting him know I would be in the hamptons this weekend. ‘Justin’ gets out of his car and comes to kiss me on the cheek and proceeds to tell me about having to escort a friends old aunt via car all the way to aspen and then flying back to the east coast yesterday…his place being crammed full of house guests forcing him to flee and stay at another house, yada yada yada….I’m guessing he’s thinking he needs to make excuses to me. But seriously does he think he went to siberia where there were no telephones! Give me a break playa!
Arriving at the beachy saint tropez wanna be hotspot the place is exploding with people and we wonder if we’re going to be able to park on this island. I have seen this place busy but this is a CF. Just getting in the door is a mosh pit like experience and getting a table-forget about it. They are no longer taking names and most tables are overflowing with hangers on. Hamptons seems to be a perfect breeding ground for the peter pan syndrome. All the men are the same and the women are younger and newer to the scene. European women are dressed like prostitutes trying to pull off ‘beach coverups’ over bathing suits as appropriate attire? We were trying to figure out which group was this season’s Estonian hookers and pimp currently working out of the American Hotel but everyone fits the bill. Urban myth or social trend? I call it the Shelter Island Shit Show!